The Journey from Natural to Weave to Natural. . .

Going natural has been a pain in my arse. . .seriously! I love the fact that my hair is growing and it's healthy and I get to see my natural texture but this process can be an annoying one. Getting to this point was not easy. I started out with my own hair being done every two weeks like clock work at the salon!! LOVED IT!

But anyone who frequents the salon knows how expensive it can be and draining. I would spend 8 hours in the salon (mainly because the stylist was a friend so I'd end up helping her out like shampooing customers and sweeping up, I was bored and got a good discount LOL) and it could get quite expensive. My stylist wore weave like you wouldn't believe, her own hair was beautifully healthy underneath but she would rock an 18 inch jet black straight quick weave like it was hers. This was back when people still glued directly to the scalp (WHAT WERE WE THINKING?). . .One day she asked me if I wanted to try weave and I declined but then I caved and gave it a try and for the first time, I had long tresses that blew in the wind and I loved the versatility of the look so. . . .

and I was in love! It went from long, to short. . .

to shorter (quick weaves were big now and the use of protectant's to put over the stocking cap were made like Morning Glory which I still love to use when I do a weave on someone else. . .

BY now I am years into this and started doing my own weaves (my friend taught me how, how sweet of her : )) I did Bobs. . .

I even began to add color then went on to do curly (which is always a fav . . .

AND more curls. . .

The decided to go back straight and do some BOLD color. . .

OBVIOUSLY I have been around the weave circuit and back again!! Tried wigs (hated them and still do, never did the lace fronts and don't think I will as I do not like the way they look unnatural to me) Anywho my journey was taking off in all the wrong ways. My real hair became quite damaged but I kept going because I did not know what to do anymore, I was so used to seeing myself with weave that without it, I felt unlike myself. . .crazy huh? To call my natural hair UNLIKE MYSELF. . .smh. I went back to my natural hair. . .

It was damaged but with months of care it became strong again and I kept it maintained in the cute short styles like I always used to, before the weave. BUT. . .. .and there is always a BUT, I missed the weave. The versatility of it, to be able to put my hair in a pony tail

and go about my day without worrying about geling down sides and getting my back faded up. . .so I traveled once more back to the land of 18 inches (the other sought after inches we women crave). . .

even though I was wearing the weave I was keeping my hair natural under neath and learning how to maintain it's health under the weave. And it started to grow,

NOW you are probably just as tired of seeing my changes as I was doing them but still I could not stay away from weave!! It was like an addiction ladies, seriously. I felt connected to weave like it was my real hair and It was part of my personality, SAD I know but I am only telling you the truth!! Now my hair was getting healthy in the middle but the sides were taking a beating like no other and it go worse but what did I do, put more weave back in until I GOT TIRED and one day, I took my sew-in out and chopped!!

Now I spent MONTHS researching how to take care of my short natural hair because I knew I was going to do it I js needed the courage to cut! I had no idea what a Big CHOP was or that there were so many natural hair sites. I researched oils and hair care products and everything to prepare myself. The above picture is the morning of June 17th 2011, the day I after I took scissors to my crown!! Then I went to Miami, WOW I felt awkward being out in public with my little fro but my head felt cool..lol.

I was not received well in Miami especially by a club called LIV who, at first, refused to let me in and I quote "because she does not look like the type of women we want in LIV." My friend was such a club head and I was heated but because she wanted to go in so bad I kept my cool as she begged her homeboy to let me in with her. . .I did not enjoy myself, not for that nasty comment but because I always hate clubs, I was there for her as this was a plan on our trip she wanted to do. I came home and dealt with my hair best way I could finding new ways to do my little fro. I liked it and felt free and light on the head as we all know weave can be heavy. The damage kept me in tears constantly!!

THE LEFT SIDE OF MY HAIR Was well, you see. . .*SIGH*. . I had no choice but to nurse it back to health. I became a product junkie for months until I decided to start making my own hair care products which I still do and will continue to do. I don't use many store bought products and I keep oils around (such as coconut) like water. . .and my hair began to start it's journey to repair!! My self esteem was down because I felt ugly!! In time I grew to love my new short due especially being able to see my cheek bones.

I even started rocking a little fro with a head band. . .

It was nice to BE NATURAL. . . .but I still felt UGLY especially with my damaged hair exposed as it was healing. When my hair became long enough I went to the shop and got BOX braids!

The lady at the shop did them TOO tight so after a month and a half in I took them out. Then I went to Micros. . .YES I know how stupid to put more tension on my hair, but it wasn't all bad. I made sure she applied as less tension as she could (I still had some breakage obviously) but having my hair braided up gave my whole head time to grow and heal. I oiled it, and conditioned it to health.

I kept Micro's in for about 7 months (had them done about 3 times within that time frame). I'd wear them in cute updos and the ever adorable buns

When I took the Micro's out I let my hair breathe for a short while.

I was starting to see my real texture and liked it. However I hated the process to keep my hair in protective styles.

My hair had grown, my edges were getting stronger but I needed to stop the tension still so I moved to sew-ins having her leave out the edges so they could get nursed back to health.

I spent 3 months with a sew-in of Indian Remy Jerry Curl hair which was AMAZING, matched my normal hair so much so I was able to keep a natural part out. I used to wear sew-ins a lot but would only keep them in for about a month. I'd do them myself, having this in was annoying especially the cost, $50 for one pack may not seem bad but it is when you are a single parent and student on a budget so redoing it every month was not the option so I did it twice in about 3.5 months. Then there was the SMELL. . .I exercise every day and quite vigorously meaning major sweat and always heavy in my head. Even though I'd try to dry my hair, the smell came and it was hard to get rid of so I made the choice that going to the gym was more important that keeping my curly weave in so I gave it up. . . . I wore my hair for a few weeks. Conditioning it, moisturizing, trimming and giving it all the goodness it needed with my own homemade products. I noticed the growth of my hair was and is excited about it. The texture of it is long enough for me to explore and learn to understand. I wanted to try coloring but that did not work. .LOL.

So. . the weather starts to heat up and BAM my head is like a furnace and it's hard to keep my twist outs in for more than a day so I go to Kinky twists. Because I didn't want to go to the salon I did them myself. It took 3 tries and 5 bags of hair to find the right size, length and style. . .

I like the twists and because I do them myself I can control how tight or not tight they are. I will keep this style around a lot while continuing to nurse my hair back to health. This journey we take with our hair is absolute hell ladies and sometimes we do not have to do as much as we do but when we get into the habit it become hard to break!! Our hair them becomes like cigarettes, an addiction that takes multiple times to quit. Actually I quit smoking cigs easy, cold turkey even and as hard as it was it was still easier than letting go of fake hair. . .now how fucked up is that?! I am with this journey to get my hair back to a healthy state and I have learned from all of my hair mistakes. I also know that my beauty is not defined by how my hair looks,t hat was hard to accept when we place so much of our physical appearance on the things we add to our outer selves like clothing and hair, etc. Not many friends and ppl have accepted my natural hair but I don't give no fucks bout them. . .it just shows their superficiality! I remember when a guy I was "dating" told me he didn't like my hair,t hat he liked me better with longer hair. I was shocked not only that he admitted to liking me better with FAKE hair but that he said so with a straight face while being 30 with two kids, no job, living with his mother,a club head and had just dyed his hair the same blonde that Chris Brown did. . .it was a shocker yall!! LOL I keep my twists up like you see in the photos above and I love not having hair touch my neck or face. . .this journey has been hard and will continue to be but I can say that I now know my real hair, it's texture and what it needs. I now have my staple recipes for the hair products I make and a few staple store brought products such as (Mango Oil & Capaucu Butter Whipped curl cream, One & Only Argan Oil Shampoo, Coconut, Olive, Almond, Castor, Rosemary and Grapeseed Oils. . .) I use all natural products when making my conditioners and of course 100% Raw Shea Butter and Australian Manuka Honey is THEE ULTIMATE STAPLES. . . I know plenty of women out there like me and all I can say is bravo. I have no other reasons for going natural than to save cost of weave and to gain healthy hair again but whatever the reasons. . .good luck to you in this journey as it is one hell of a challenge!!!!